Many musicians, critics and music nerds will lament the popularity of the "list song," or a song that, entirely or in part, lists things. Billy Joel famously despises We Didn't Start the Fire, calling it boring and repetitive. Maybe that's true, but also, that song is a lot of fun... if you're not performing it night in and night out at every show for as long as you play music.
I never get tired of Johnny Cash singing I've Been Everywhere or R.E.M. doing It's the End of the World as We Know it. Bob Dylan's Subterranean Homesick Blues is a classic, and The Nails' 88 Lines about 44 Women is the quintessential list song you've heard a hundred times, even if you don't realize it. My personal favorite is Neil Diamond's Done Too Soon, from his 1970 album Tap Root Manuscript. It's best followed by He Ain't Heavy... He's My Brother. They blend so well it took me years to realize they were two different songs, kind of like Pink Floyd's Brain Damage and Eclipse... Come to think of it, another list song.
Let's face it. People love a good list. At the risk of being boring and repetitive, here's my list of some hidden costs of cancer and cancer treatment.
Maybe try reading it to the tune of the often maligned list song The 12 Days of Christmas, on second thought, that doesn't really work. Honestly, a better fit would be We Care A Lot by Faith No More. I just can't stop listing list songs!
Cancer List Song
Steroid cream, numbing cream, facial cream,
hand cream, salves, ointments, and lotions.
Pills for nausea, blood thinner, acne,
acid reflux, aches, pains and fatigue.
There are fuzzy socks for sleeping in,
eye drops and nasal sprays,
knit gloves stop cold creeping in.
This discomfort comes in waves,
I become the needy kin,
mostly post-infusion days.
The fancy bidet toilet seat that gently warms the water first,
the cheaper one (for toilet two) that will shoot a flash-cold burst.
An infrared ear thermometer, extra CPAP and M95 face masks.
For sleeping, $40 eye mask-- it's boring why, but feel free to ask.
I drive to preschool, regular school, the cancer clinic and pharmacy.
To the in-laws, the hospital, also the public library,
the children's museum, aquarium, and even the dispensary.
The couch is broken and so's my chair.
We need a new one, Lord provide,
a cleaning service and lawn care
so the boys can play outside.
It'll keep them out my hair.
Let mental health be the guide
to my wife and kids self-care,
though like The Dude, we will abide.
Exercise classes, scented candles,
bath bombs, yarn for knitting,
trampoline park, fuzzy sandals,
Seriously? You've gotta be kidding.
Our account is something I can handle,
but this adds up, the budget's slipping!
Enter GoFundMe
The first thing people say is, "Let me know if there's anything we can do." If you're the next-door neighbor, I might send the boys over to play sometime when I need some space to rest, also providing fresh hot meals on infusion days. We're pretty lucky to have such great neighbors. If you live locally, you might send some oven-ready or freezer meals; maybe help with a small home project.
But most of our network lives out-of-state or several hours away. People reach out and call and pray and would love to do more, but are too far away for hands-on assistance.
Initially, my wife and I didn't really consider GoFundMe as an option. It has seemed more like a tool to help people in financial crisis and we're just... living our life, rebalancing the budget, trying to get by and find our way through the sudden changes. I finally agreed to a GoFundMe page when I realized that it allows our distant friends and family to step in and help in a way that works for everybody.
Some days the side effects are hitting hard, and we're ordering take-out. The couple hundred dollars in Door Dash credit we were gifted by friends is a boon in these situations, but you can't use Door Dash to pay the house cleaners that are picking up the slack on chores I can no longer keep up on.
Now I look around my house and think, "My siblings bought me that bidet. My childhood friend bought us dinner tonight. My cousin bought the Pepcid and this sweet face lotion. My Aunt paid for my blood thinners." The list goes on and grows bigger every day.
I'm surrounded by physical objects helping me fight cancer, provided by those I love and who love me. This list of caring friends and family is my favorite list of all.
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